Thinking back to the days when i wasn’t alone.
A time when my heart wasn’t made out of stone.
I used to be a kid that wouldn’t stop smiling.
I used to have dreams to always keep soaring.
I was thankful for the people in my life.
Now when I look around , I don’t see anyone in my life.
It’s crazy how people change in a blink of an eye,
I just wanna run away to a place where i can cry.
What ever happened to the kid that was never afraid?
I feel when it comes to my life i have been betrayed.
Even though i was weak, I tried so hard to stay strong.
No matter what i did it always went wrong.
Now i’m trapped behind these closed walls.
While i’m letting myself fall.
- Abdul Moontarin
Basically something I wrote that sums up how I have been feeling lately.
Today. Today is just terrible. I’m a guy that smiles a lot. Even if I feel shitty i would try my best to smile. Today, I didn’t smile one bit. I actually haven’t slept for the past 24 hours and honestly i don’t feel tired at all.
I just cant sleep. I have all these past memories filling up my mind and making me over think. Over thinking has to be one of the most dangerous things in the world. It can take you to a dark place where there might be no escape.
Even though I haven’t slept for the past 24 hours or eaten for the past 12 hours I don’t feel weak nor tired. What I do feel is this pain inside of my guts. Idk how to explain it. It’s as if my emotions are actually causing me physical pain inside.
I wanted to just go outside and clear my mind with one of my bros but instead they are all busy so i’m basically alone today which is horrible because now i’ll end up over thinking more.
it’s just my family. I’m seeing it fall apart and i can’t do nothing about it.
I feel so terrible i even yelled at my mom and she’s really sick so now she feels 10 times worse. i’m such a horrible son and human being.